I love it when I discover new writers. I learnt about Sabrina Alexis from a colleague, who actually shared this piece with me and I had to share it here, because for me this piece has hit some home truth on how I react to situations and how I come out of them. I hope that this piece will help you improve your relationship with yourself and others and in turn help you be the real you, as I am learning to do so myself.
There is nothing more vital in this world than a healthy dose of self-love and unfortunately, this is something that most people are missing. When you love yourself, the entire world responds with open arms.
When you’re down on yourself, the universe will justify those feelings and you’ll come up with one instance after the next that validates your low self-worth.
Self-love is a very big concept (just check out the self-help aisle at your local bookstore to see how much has been written on the subject), and while it can’t be glossed over, it can be made to be much more complicated than it is.
To make the whole process easier on you, I’m going to share something that an incredibly wise teacher once shared with me: The real you is who you are when you’re at your best.
Allow me to illustrate. You know those days when you feel like you’re sitting on top of the world and can do anything and be anything? Those days when everything feels right and you’re in a groove that can’t be shaken? Those days when you feel amazing about yourself and your abilities and feel certain that you can and will get everything you want in life? THOSE days are reflections of who you really are, that’s you!
What about the days when you feel like crap and everything goes wrong and you can’t focus and you’re tired and you’re sad and you feel…hopeless? Well the real you is still in there, only it’s buried underneath a lot of other stuff that gets in the way and clouds our vision.
We have all been endowed with profound potential, the trouble is, a lot of that potential gets crushed and forced underground by a lot of nonsense that isn’t really all that important. Everyone faces challenges in their lives; the way you deal with the things that come your way will determine how successful and happy you are.
For instance, let’s say a guy you’ve been seeing breaks up with you out of the blue. In this case, you can respond in several ways. You can see it as his loss and move on with the confidence that you will find someone amazing or you can turn inward and pick yourself apart trying to figure out what you did wrong. As a result, you may develop a complex about yourself and the next relationship you enter into will be clouded by fears of being left high and dry, inevitably leading the relationship to unfold in precisely the way you feared it would.
We all look at life through filtered glasses. For instance, a person who feels worthless will only hone in on situations and events that “prove” they have no worth. One hundred people can tell them they’re amazing but if one person tells them they’re worthless, that is all they’ll hear. Once you adopt a belief about yourself, you ensure that it will become reality. If you believe all men are jerks, you will only hone in on jerky behavior. If you think men will always betray you, then you will find yourself consistently being betrayed. Call it self-fulfilling prophecies or terrible luck; I’m sure you’ve experienced this sort of thing in enough of a capacity to know it’s real.
The only way to change your reality is to remove the layers of nonsense clouding your vision. The best way to do this is to recognize that the bad days aren’t you. When you’re stuck in the muck of one of those frustrating days, take a step back and remember the amazing days when anything felt possible.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve had hundreds of bad days and only a handful of great ones; try to only hang onto the great ones. When you realize that you actually are that person, the little things in life will no longer hold you back and prevent you from seeing your greatness and capabilities.
Lots of love, Sabrina Alexis
You can learn more about Sabrina Alexis through her website www.anewmode.com and through her Instagram @anewmode and Snapchat: Sabrinaalexis23